Idiot
by xXHellfireXx
Summary: TITLE CHANGE! [It used to be 'You Stupid Dumbass']Sid thought he didn't need any friends...until he met Twobit. No pairings in particular. M for language, alcohol, and suggestive themes.
1. Boo!

**So this is my first Outsiders ****fic****. BY FAR MY FAVORITE BOOK OF ALL TIME!! So yeah, the story is about…well, you'll see. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own ****shiz****, '****cept**** Sid**

**Rated M- language, alcohol, sexual themes.****but**** no sex. ****Just dirty talk.**

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_Idiot_

_Chapter 1: BOO!_

"YOU STUPID DUMBASS!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA-OUCH!"

I scowled as the overgrown toddler fell to the ground. "That's what you get, you fucker."

"Jesus Christ, all I did was say 'Boo'. Ya didn' have ta throw yer fuckin' book at me." He whined. He was rubbing his head. I knew there'd be a bump there in a minute or two.

"Bullshit! You fucking ran up behind me, screaming your head off I might add, picked me up and started swinging me all over the place!"

"Whatever."

"NO! DON'T WHATEVER ME!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"_YOU_ SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

This was our relationship. We abused and teased each other every moment we were together. This is how it's always been, ever since we met each other.

His name is Keith Matthews, but everyone calls him Two-bit. Why? Because he always has to get his two-bits in. That's not why I call him that though. I call him Two-bit because that's what he is, a two-bit greaser whose never going anywhere in life. That shouldn't suggest that I don't like him though. He's my best friend actually. Come to think of it, he's my only friend. I'm not exactly the friend-making type. I'm an asshole really. I enjoy fucking with people's heads and making them feel like shit. I'm not like that all the time though, just usually when I'm at school. Outside school I still like messing with people's heads, but I'm not as asshole-ish about it. People just can't appreciate my sense of humor I guess…well, Two-bit can.

Oh, my name is Sid by the way, Sid Sexman. Awesome name huh? Yeah I know. Actually, my full name is Sidney, but nobody every calls me that. The last dumbass who was stupid enough to call me that went to the hospital. Whatever, anyway, I'm 15 years old. I'm pretty short, about 5'2". I'm kinda slim, but not too skinny. I've got real pale skin, which I like by the way. I keep my hair relatively short, and I always gel it so it's all spiky. I got eyes like a cat too, they're yellowish-green and they're kinda slanted. I'm not asian though, I swear.

Anyway, I moved from Philidelpia to Tulsa when I was 7. My mom killed herself when I was 6. My dad, who used to be a cop, went into depression and couldn't live in Philly any more. My gram lived here in Tulsa, so we just moved out here with her. She died a year after we moved there though.

My dad's a scary guy. He's 6'7" and is 285 pounds of solid muscle. He has real dark brown spiky hair and has a goatee. His name is Bruce by the way, though I call him Brute. After my mom died and we moved out here, he eventually got out of his depression, but he wasn't the same guy. Before mom died he was the coolest, nicest dad a kid could ask for. But now…he's just scary. He always has this angry look on his face, like he's gonna beat the shit outta' someone. He gave up being a cop and now he's a bouncer at a bar. We don't talk to each other unless it's absolutely necessary.

When I moved here, I hated it. The school I went to sucked ass, and I made sure everyone knew it. I got in trouble almost everyday cuz I mouthed off to my teachers...a habit I have yet to kick. I didn't have any friends, not even the greasy kids wanted to be my friends cuz I was such a prick. I didn't care though. I didn't need friends.

Then, one day when I was in 7th grade, I hade to do a history project with this kid. I made fun of him all the time because of his name. I mean seriously, when you meet a kid named Ponyboy, how can you not make fun of him? Anyway, this kid pissed me off. Unlike a lot of the other kids in my grade, I was actually really smart. This kid however skipped a grade, which really got my blood boiling. I hated him because he skipped a grade and I didn't. I often take to hating people who think they're better than me. Think, being the key word in that sentence. So anyway, he asked me if I wanted to come over to his house so we could work on the project. I shrugged and said 'fuck it, why not.'

We walked to his house together. He tried to make small talk, but I quickly shot down any attempts he made. When we got to his house, I immediately regretted my decision. His family made me feel like utter shit, which in turn made me hate the kid even more.

_Flashback_

_"Hey there Pony."_

_"Hey dad."_

_"Whose you're friend?"_

_"Oh, um…uh, this is Sid. We have to do a history project together."_

_"Oh, nice to meet you Sid."_

_He smiled and stuck out his hand, but I just gave him a fake smile and nodded. He looked a little taken aback because I didn't shake his hand, and went into the next room._

_"Come __on,__ let's go to my room so we can get started."_

_He walked into the next room and I followed. I didn't make it very far though, because __Ponyboy__ was now __laying__ on the floor, laughing hysterically. Some other kid was tickling him and laughing just as hard as he was._

_"S-so-soda __hehehe__ S-__st__hahahaha__ stop! __Hehehee__"_

_"Holler uncle!" _

_"__Sodapop__, leave your brother alone, he has a project he has to do." __Ponyboy's__ dad said. I looked over and saw him sitting in a recliner with a paper in his hands. Soda reluctantly let __Ponyboy__ go and stood up._

_"__Hiyah__ I'm Soda, __Ponyboy's__ older brother." He stuck out his hand and grinned at me. I laughed in his face._

_"Your name's __Sodapop__?" _

_He just grinned wider. __"Yep!__ What's your name?"_

_I continued to laugh and I walked past him. "C'mon Horse-boy, let's get this project done and over with so I can get the hell __outta__ here." I saw Pony's father glare at me out of the corner of my eye. I just smirked. __Ponyboy__ blushed and walked over to the stairs. I followed._

_I could hear Soda whisper something to his father while we were walking upstairs._

_"Not very friendly huh?"_

_"No, not really."_

_I frowned. I decided I hated them too, for talking about me like that._

_When we got to the top of the steps, another boy was getting ready to go downstairs._

_"Hey Pony, __whose__ this?"_

_"Oh, this is __Sid,__ we have to do a project together."_

_"Oh, hey.__ I'm Pony's older brother."_

_"You got a fucked up name too?" I smirked. He gave me a cold glare. His eyes were like ice, but I gave him my signature smirk and narrowed my eyes at him._

_"It's __Darry__."_

_"Oh, so you're the lucky one huh?" _

_He just walked past me and went downstairs. I watched him go down the steps. He thought he was all big and tough. I could take him._

_"Let's go." I spat. Pony just nodded._

_We got done with the project around 6. I was starving. I'd have to make dinner myself tonight, which was nothing new. My dad was never home anymore, and my gram died years ago._

_"Do you want to stay for dinner?" Pony asked._

_"Not really." I said bluntly._

_"Are you sure?"_

_My stomach suddenly gave a loud growl. I could feel my face turn red. I wanted to punch my stomach for betraying me like that. I looked up and noticed Pony was trying to hide a smile. I scowled._

_"Fine."_

_We went downstairs and walked into the kitchen._

_"Um, is it okay if Sid stays for dinner?" Pony asked. His father, __Darry__, and Soda all gave me looks._

_"Of course dear."__ His mother said. "Hello Sid, my name's Mary." She walked over and stuck out her hand. What was it with these __people.__ I gave her a smirk and hesitantly shook her hand. The others all seemed to let out their breath at the same time. I smirked. Wonder what they thought I was gonna do._

_"Is spaghetti okay with you Sid?" Mrs. Curtis said._

_"Sure." I really didn't __care,__ I was so hungry I could eat anything._

_I was extremely uncomfortable sitting there though. I sat between Mrs. Curtis and __Ponyboy__. They all talked and laughed the whole time. I felt like I didn't belong. I hadn't spent time like this with my father since my mother was alive. I hardly touched my food._

_"Is everything alright Sid? You've hardly eaten anything." Mrs. Curtis said._

_"__Hm? __Oh, yeah."__ I stood up. "I'm gonna go home now. Thanks for the food." I said._

_"Are you sure you want to leave?" Mrs. Curtis asked._

_"Yeah."_

_"Do you need a ride?" Mr. Curtis asked._

_"No."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Alright, well it was nice meeting you Sid." Mrs. Curtis said. I just nodded and left. I walked out onto the porch and sighed. They were all so happy….it makes me sick. I walked down the porch steps and onto the side walk. Then, out of nowhere something falls on top of me and takes me down to the ground._

_"WHAT THE FUCK!" I screamed._

_"Oh shit, sorry!" said the mystery kid who was still on top of me._

_"YOU STUPID DUMBASS!__ GET THE FUCK OFF ME!"_

_"Oh, right." The kid jumped up and held out his hand to help me up. I smacked it out of the way and stood up._

_"What the hell is your __damage!__" I roared. The door to Pony's house swung open and Mr. Curtis appeared, followed by the rest of the family._

_"What's going on? Are you alright Sid?"_

_"This jackass just ran me over!"_

_"What did you do know Two-bit?" __Darry__ sighed._

_"I didn't do __nothing__! I just tripped by accident, I swear!"_

_"Watch __were__ you're going next time you dumb fuck!" _

_"__Whoa, calm down kid." He said._

_"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A KID YOU FUCKING __IDIOT!__" _

_"Boys, that's enough!" Mr. Curtis bellowed. I glared at him and then gave the dumbass that knocked me over a look that would have made the devil cry like a little girl. Then I stormed off towards my house._

_"I didn't mean to, honest!" _

_"I know Two-bit, come on in side."_

_I spat on the ground. __Dumbasses, all of them._

_When I got to my house, I walked up the porch steps and threw open the door. I grabbed the knob and pulled it shut as hard as I could. I just stood there for a minute then, my back resting on the door._

_All of a sudden I broke down crying._

_They looked so happy together… it makes me sick._

_End flashback_

"So what do you want anyway?" I asked Two-bit.

"Hmm?"

"Did you assault me just for kicks, or was there a reason?"

"Oh, I just saw ya walkin' so I thought I'd walk with ya."

"I'm just going to the store."

"For what?"

"None of your business."

"You know better than ta tell me that. Now I gotta know." He grinned.

"I'm going to swipe a gun."

"A gun?! What for!?"

"So I can shoot you in the face FOR JUMPING ME LIKE THAT!"

"Shut up."

"You shut up!"

This was our relationship. We abuse and tease each other every moment we're together. This is how it's always been, ever since we met each other.

I hoped it would never change.

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**END CHAPTER ONE!!! WOOT!!!!**

**This was mostly just the intro. ****Nothing important.**** But what will ****happen**** next chapter? You'll just have to wait and see!**

**Reviews would be nice, BUT NO FLAMES!!! If you don't like it then don't read it! Constructive criticism is always appreciated though.**

**Dunno**** when chapter two will be up. I'm writing another ****fic**** at the present time, so I might focus more on that one. ****Then again maybe not.**

**Peace bitches!**

**xXHellfireXx**


	2. I was thinking

**Chapter two!!! WOOT!!!**

**K, so hopefully this chapter will be a little more….eventful. ****we'll**** just have to see!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own ****shiz****, S.E. Hinton does.**

**M-****for ****usual stuff.**

**ENJOY!**

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_Idiot_

_Chap__ter 2: I was thinking…_

I didn't really go to the store to swipe a gun and shoot Two-bit, even if I wanted too. Instead he asked me if I wanted to go to the Curtis Compound (he came up with that name by the way, he's such an idiot) and I said sure. I had let go of my hate for the Curtis family a long time ago, even though I was still jealous of them. They lost their parents a couple months ago, and still they managed to stay happy. There were so many times I wished I could have asked one of them how they deal with it, but I never worked up the nerve. I could sympathize with them though; after all I had lost my mom too.

I guess never told anyone what happened to my mom. Steve asked me one time, but I didn't answer. I really couldn't answer him, I never found out why my mom had killed herself. It was like all of a sudden she just decided it'd be fun to cut her wrists one time. I still have nightmares about it…

_Flashback_

_"__Ahh__!"_

_I woke up in a cold sweat__. I hate nightmares like that. You __know,__ the ones you can't remember, but freak you out anyway. I was shaking like a leaf. My throat was dry and hoarse, so I decided to go downstairs to get a drink of water. I pulled the covers off of me, slowly got out of bed, and made my way to the top of the steps._

_When I got there, all I could do was look down. It seemed as if the stairs went on for miles. There was something foreboding about the stairs and everything inside of me screamed at me telling me not to go down there. At the time though, my 6 year old brain didn't listen very well and started walking down the stairs anyway. I remember felling like I was walking straight into hell. Every step I took my heart beat faster and faster.__ After what seemed like hours, I finally got to the bottom. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. I leaned against the wall to try and regain my composure._

_As soon as I recovered I started to make my way to the kitchen. I had to go through the living room fist though. It was weird seeing everything at night like this. Everything cast an eerie shadow. It made me even tenser than I already was. I quickly walked through the living room and into the dining room, which was just as bad. I was near panicking, so I almost ran into the kitchen. I stopped to gather myself again. Something was wrong with me. I shouldn't be this worked up over getting a stupid glass of water. I __walked over to the cabinet beside the fridge and grabbed a glass. I turned around to go to the sink, but __I __froze. _

_I almost jumped out of my skin when I saw her. She was sitting on the floor, with her back leaning against the cabinets__. Her head was drooping down and I could see __her long hair covering her face. I thought 'why would she go to sleep there?' She was still fully clothed. She had to work late that night, so I went to bed before she got home. It was so bizarre, seeing her asleep on the kitchen floor like that._

_But then I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach, like something wasn't right._

_"M-m-mom?"_

_She didn't answer._

_"M-mom, a-are you o-okay?"_

_Still no answer.__ I took a few steps back to turn on the light._

_I can never forget what I saw that moment, for the rest of my life._

_She wasn't asleep…she was dead._

_There was a massive pool of blood on the floor around her; a knife was lying loosely in her right hand, covered in blood. Two huge gashes were on her wrists._

_My eyes went wide. I stopped breathing._

_What happened to her? What did she do?_

_These are the questions I asked. At the time I was too young to realize that she had committed suicide, but I was old enough to realize she was dead._

_Then, I let out a scream that probably woke up the entire neighborhood._

_My father came barreling down the stairs._

_"Sid! Sid are you o-"_

_He stopped. I knew he saw her._

_I was bawling my eyes out on the floor. _

_"R-Rachel…"_

_"Mother!!"__ I screamed.__ It freaked me out the way I sounded. It was a mixture of desperation and fear I guess. My screaming__ snapped my father out of the trance he was in, because he immediately swooped down and picked me up. I was still crying my eyes out._

_"__Shhhh__, Sid__ney__."_

_Shhh__…__Shhhh__? How could I __shhhh__ when my mother was lying dead on the kitchen floor with a bloody knife in her hands and cuts on her wrists? No, there would be no __shhh-ing_

_So I cried even harder. I flung my arms around his neck and burrowed my head in his neck. He tightened his hold around me and buried his head in my neck. That was the first and __only time I'd ever seen him cry. _

_He called 911 and they came and took her. The police asked us questions, and we answered. My father had calmed down considerably when everyone showed up, but his eyes were all red and puffy and his shoulders were tense. I was still a crying mess and it was difficult for me to answer the questions._

_They told us it was suicide and that she died of blood loss. _

_After they all left, we stayed awake in the living room__. I cried for about a half hour before I passed out on the couch. When I woke up the next morning, my dad was lying down on the couch, and I was on top of him. His arms were still wrapped around me. It was a little uncomfortable, he was squeezing too tight. I figured he was scared still, so I didn't move. I just __laid__ there, waiting for him to wake up._

_When he did wake up, he seemed out of it still, like he wasn't really awake. He looked down and noticed I was awake._

_"Hey." he said._

_"Hey."_

_"I'm late for school."_

_"You're not going today.__"_

_"What are we gonna do today then?"_

_He was silent for a few moments._

_"What do you want to do today?"_

_It was my turn for silence this time._

_"I want to stay with you."_

_He didn't say anything. I buried my head into his arm and went back to sleep._

_End Flashback._

My father and I stopped talking a couple weeks afterwards. It just seemed like we had nothing to talk about anymore. We grew father and farther apart until we acted as if the other didn't exist. It was a system we worked out. We avoided each other unless absolutely necessary. It wasn't that we hated each other or anything like that. We just reminded each other too much of….her.

I could see the Curtis' place now. Two-bit was yammering on the whole way there. When ever he looked at me I just nodded or grunted. I knew he could tell something was bothering me. Even though we've only known each other for a couple of years, we knew each other better than anyone. This was what made me consider him such a good friend. He knew the gang much longer than he knew me, and he'd been friends with the gang for much longer, but he still knew me better than any of them. I would never tell him this, but I don't know what I'd do with out him. I have no idea why, but he is able to make me let my guard down. Normally I would hate him for doing that to me, but I just can't be mad at him, despite the way I treat him.

"Sid."

"What."

"You gonna tell me what's wrong with ya?"

I looked over at him and smirked.

"Probably not." I said. He frowned.

"Why not?"

"Cuz it's not important." I said with a wave of my hand. I continued walking towards the Curtis house.

"Secrets don't make friends ya know."

"Who said we were friends?"

"Don't even try to play that game Siddy. I know you better than that."

I turned around and got up in his face. "If you know me so well, then you should know that I'm not gonna tell you anything unless I want to."

"Why wouldn't you want to tell me?"

"Ugh. How old are you? Seriously!"

"Sid."

I turned to face him. I was surprised to see his face completely serious. His big stupid grin was no where to be seen.

"You know you can tell me anything." He said. His eyes were staring right into mine.

I turned around and walked up the porch steps to the house. I went to open the door, but I stopped.

"…I was thinking…" I could feel him staring at my back. "…about my mother."

I quickly opened the door and went inside.

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**END CHAPTER TWO!!!**

**I'll start on Chapter three right away. Again, Reviews are always appreciated.**

**Peace Bitches!!**

**.xXHellfireXx.**


	3. Put yer claws away pussy cat

**I just want to start off by thanking **mars on fire** for the great advice. I agree with everything you said. I'll change the title ****too,**** I guess I didn't really think too much about it at the time. I do that a lot. **

**And now, Chapter three!! WOOT!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Sid **

**M-for usual 'M' stuff**

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_Idiot_

_Chapter 3: Put __yer__ claws away pussy cat_

I walked into the house and looked around. Dally and Steve were both there. They nodded to me and I returned the gesture.

I walked into the kitchen and saw Darry looking through the cabinets. He was probably getting ready to start dinner. Out of the entire gang I liked Darry the best…well, besides Two-bit. We got into it a while back and he socked me a good one. Of course that sent me into a rage and I left a few marks. After a while though we got over our beef and came to understand one another. He was a cool guy.

"Sup," I said.

"Nothing. You?"

"Same," I said. I walked over to the fridge and grabbed a Pepsi and a beer. Two-bit walked into the kitchen and I threw the beer at him. He caught it and nodded to me. I knew he was upset by the look he gave me.

I sighed. "What now?"

He didn't say anything. I rolled my eyes. "We can talk later." I said. He gave me a smile and I snorted. "You're so easily pleased."

"Course. Gotta take what you can get with you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're an asshole."

"Takes one ta know one," I scoffed and walked back into the living room.

"See what I mean? I'll bet ya can't be nice even for a minute."

"I'll bet you you're right."

He gasped, faking surprise. "You think I'm right? And you're willing to put money on it!? It's a miracle!"

"It'd be a miracle if you'd shut up."

"It'd be a miracle if you'd both shut up," Dally growled. "All you two ever do is go back and forth like that. I swear you two are fags."

"It's that obvious huh?" Two-bit grinned.

"T'cha, in your dreams maybe," I snorted.

"Oh yes. All I dream about is you Siddy. Like the dream I had last night about you suckin' my-"

"Finish that sentence and I'll bite it off in the next one," I spat. He just grinned.

"See what I mean? Faggots, both of 'em," Dally sighed.

"Go kill yourself Winston, do us a favor," I growled.

"Put yer claws away pussy cat, I ain't in the mood ta beat yer ass."

"I'll put them away when you get hit by a car you stupid mutt."

He gave me a cold stare and I gave him one right back.

"Can't we all just get along?" Two-bit said dramatically. He put his heads in his hands and pretended to cry. "All this fighting, it's tearing me apart!"

"Good, I'd like to see you split in half," I smirked.

"Yeah. I'd like to split you," He said, giving me another grin. He started to walk towards me. "Come here little Siddy, I know a way to get you outta that sour mood."

"You touch me, you die."

"Oh really?" He cocked his eyebrow. "So if I do this…" He smacked me upside the head.

"You're dead Matthews!" I growled. He screamed like a little girl and ran outside. I was right behind him.

"Please don't hurt me!" He laughed.

"No promises there pal!" I laughed too. He continued to run around the front yard, but I eventually caught him in a flying tackle.

"Damn, you should go out for the football team," He panted. "You knocked the wind outta me."

"Maybe you shouldn't smoke so much," I retorted. I was panting just as hard as he was.

"What are you talkin' about? You smoke more 'an me."

"Yeah, but I don't sit on my ass all day drinkin' beer."

"What's your point?" He grinned. I rolled my eyes and stood up. "Hey," I turned my head and gave him an uninterested look. I was surprised once again to see that he was serious. "You wanna talk now?"

I hesitated, "Sure."

We walked over to the porch and plopped down on the steps. He lit up and offered me a Kool. I took it and lit up off his cigarette.

"So," He said.

I sighed, "What do you want to know."

"What happened to yer mom?"

I didn't answer him. I just stared at my shoes.

"Sid?"

I sighed again, "She killed herself, when I was six," I didn't look at him, I couldn't. I don't know what I'd do if I did. "I…I was the one who found her. She was lying on the kitchen floor. She cut her wrists," He didn't say anything. I smirked, it was a miracle, Two-bit Matthews actually shut up for once.

"I-"

"Save it. I don't want your sympathy." I glanced over to him. He looked like I just punched him in the gut. I frowned a little. "Thanks though. It's nice to know you give a damn."

"Of course I do kid. You're the little brother I never had."

I felt my breath catch. What did he say? I didn't know how to respond to that.

"It bugs me when I see ya sad like that ya know."

I didn't say anything. I felt the prick of tears on my eyes. I silently cursed myself for it. I was not, I repeat, was NOT going to cry in front of him. He slung an arm over my shoulder.

"You put on this 'I don't give a fuck' act, but I can tell that's all it is."

I wanted to punch him then. I could feel the tears welling up, daring to spill out of my eyes.

"I know that you feel stuff Sid. When people insult you tryin' ta be smart. You get this look in your eyes. It's hard to see at first, but after you've seen it so many times, it's easy to pick up. "

Shut up Two-bit…

"It's almost like you hate 'em for even talking about you in the first place."

Two bit…

"I don't get why you're so mad all the time. It's not like they mean half the things they say."

Keith!

"Shut the fuck up!" I shrieked, pushing him away from me. I felt the tears fall. God damn it.

"Sid?" he gasped.

"This is why I don't fucking talk about shit!" I stood up. I wanted to just leave, but didn't. Instead I started pacing. "I don't know how to fucking deal with all the shit that happens! I'm sorry!"

"Treating people like shit isn't exactly dealing with it," He said.

"Oh, and getting shit faced and fucking some dumbass slut is!?" I screamed.

"You got a lot of fucking nerve to start mouthing off to me!" He yelled. I'd made him mad now. Way to go Sid.

"You're the one who was fucking sitting there trying to play therapist! I didn't even want to talk about it in the first place you dumbass!"

Stop it Sid, before you fuck up the only friendship you have.

"I only wanted to fucking help you!"

"I don't fucking need help from a lazy ass greaser who thinks he's got the right to judge me!"

What the hell is your problem Sid! Stop it!

"You're gonna fucking do this!? Turn on the only fucking friend you have!? I've always fucking been there for you Sidney! And this is how you're gonna fucking repay me! You're a little fucking kid, you know that Sid!? You act all grown up and mature but you're just a little fucking kid!"

"You got a lot of nerve Keith! You don't know shit!"

"Oh don't I! I know more about you than you know about yourself!"

"Bullshit! You don't know what I've been through! I had to fucking find my mom dead, lying in her own fucking blood! And you fucking claim to know shit!? What the fuck happened to you Keith!? You're alcoholic father ran out on you? Well let me tell you something shit head, you're dad ran away, but at least he's able to come back!"

"Don't talk about my fucking dad like that you little shit!"

"Oh, so know you wanna fucking defend him huh? You know, for someone how claims to hate his father so much, you sure are turning out an awful lot like him!"

Then, all of a sudden, he hit me. Right in the kisser. I was stunned. He fucking hit me.

"Go the fuck home Sid…"

I looked at him. His eyes were full of disgust.

"You aren't wanted around here anymore."

With that, he walked up the porch steps and slammed the door behind him.

All I could do was stare at the door.

He hates me…

I turned around and started heading home. My mind was racing. What had I done? I just fucked up the only good thing I had going for me.

Before I knew it, I was inside my house.

I leaned up against the door. I half expected tears to start pouring out of my eyes, but none came. I looked over to the kitchen, my mind wandering to a place I thought it'd never go.

I sauntered into the kitchen, my mind set on one thing. I could see it…

I walked over to it. I had nothing left. My mother killed herself, my grandmother died, my father might as well not even exist, and the only friend I had hates me.

I slid the object of my twisted thoughts out of the wooden container.

I played with it a little, brushing the tip of it against my fingers and tracing my hand with it. I turned and sat on the floor, my back up against the cabinets.

Would anyone care if I was gone? Why should they, it's not like I'm anything special.

I took the object and ran it against my leg, not putting enough pressure on it to do anything, but enough to feel it.

I then took it and ran it across my face. It tickled a little.

Then, my mind went blank. I didn't think about anything anymore…

My toy made its way to my neck. One stroke and it could all be over. I wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore…

I gripped the handle tightly and pressed it against my neck a little harder.

Then, my mother popped into my head.

What the hell was I doing?

I threw the knife across the room, in shear disgust. Whether it was for the object that had been the cause of my mother's death, or if it was for me, I didn't know. Maybe it was both.

I cried in spite of myself.

You're a real dumbass Sid. A real fucking dumbass.

* * *

**END CHAPTER THREE!!!**

**You didn't really think I'd kill off Sid already did you? The main character never dies that quickly! You should know better! ;)**

**I'm really getting into this story, I'll have the next chapter up soon I hope.**

**Peace bitches!!**

**xXHellfireXx**


End file.
